Weblog
Friday, 18 May 2012
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My world, now.
I was meeting with my good friend, G, today and I've come to realize some things that my heart has been yearning for. We were sitting there in front of Five Guys going through some of the questions that The Good and Beautiful Life was bringing up. They kept triggering for me lumps of desire that I've been lacking and places that I've been vehemently pushing away from God because I really was tired of getting...nowhere.
After writing for an hour I deleted most of this entry. Too abstract for me to even understand a year from now. But when my rubber met the road, I'm left feeling very aloof and lost, and I guess that's how I would classify my current state of living.
I really miss having peace in my mind, soul, and spirit. Everything worked in unison. Now I just simply feel divided and it bugs the daylights out of me. This is not how He created me.
And there's way too much of a fighter within me to just make this my new norm.
But like any lost kid, the general advice is: stay where you are at until you are found! Well, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. But as time passes, I'm turning into an anxious child and it's becoming increasingly difficult to remember how it felt like to be safe and secure again.
Monday, 14 May 2012
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Owned
3:30am I realized Youtube star Christina Grimmie covered my all time favorite worship song.
I almost died.
And then I re-listened to Owl City's version
Almost died again.
I'm not a fan of being owned at such hours, but it felt like crashing into a wall of Truth. I have such a sweet spot for this song and I am so easily ministered to by it...ever since actually following Jesus. Some things just don't change.
2:29. I'm dying. All feels well in my soul.
I have so much more respect for Owl City. His blog is pretty rich too. alkdsjf!
Friday, 11 May 2012
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Papa
I dont know anymore.
I'm on survival mode.
Come and do something.
Sunday, 22 April 2012
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Silly Yelp.
Every since I started yelping, my weight has consistently been on the rise. People can maybe attribute this to a slowing down of my metabolism due to age, but I beg to differ (insert infamous age joke, ha ha, funny). I have this theory that because of Yelp (and becoming Elite) I've become more critical of my food and more willing to try new places FOR THE PURPOSE OF REVIEWING THEM.
This is not a healthy lifestyle. I mean, I can definitely scavenge weekly with Nat (and co) to find the best Acai bowl in SD, but that's not really...food.
I've eaten Korean THREE times in the past week. I'm trying to find the best Korean restaurant on Convoy for the purposes of being an edumucated Korean in this very Asian town. And sadly (happily?) I've also overeaten all three times. Which continues to add to my theory of weight gain.
I dont know what to think of this. On one hand I'm eating great (or mediocre) food, reviewing them, but I also don't have this inner drive to go run a mile a day. Hmm. The dilemmas of life. So until I figure a good balance of healthy living (or just learn to eat smaller portions - nah), I'll just update my Yelp headline to: Yelp makes me fat.
Who wants to try new places with me?
Teehee!
Thursday, 05 April 2012
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SCHOOOOL
The more and more I take classes, the more I can't wait to start practicum. Or to graduate and actually work and earn money doing things I want to do.
Granted, I'm looking at this with a very fancy and easy pair of glasses, but for months now I realize...I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes, Dr. Lim is kind of not making any of us happy but Dr. Chang --despite her sassy, eclectic, and slightly intimidating nature -- continues to inspire me to be a one-of-a-kind therapist. She sure is one.
I'm so glad to be in my program. I'm so glad I'm learning systems theory and realizing I'm slightly more Bowenian. I'm so glad I'm slowly incorporating therapy language into my life. I'm so glad I dont have to be working right now.
annnnd that's it. I'm going to start complaining next week when crazy papers begin rolling in, but at the end of the day, I walk away knowing this is what I really want to do.
Thanks God.
True
