I trust Your leadership above everything else I may see right now.
I refuse to lose hope because I know there is always hope in You.
I will let Psalm 62:5 minister Truth in the midst of lies.
You've intentionally opened up this hard season for them, so please continue to release Your Kingdom

Your leadership Father, Your perfect leadership.
Bring restoration. Complete and wholesome restoration. Something only found in Heaven, and marked by Heaven's scent.

And please show them how much You love them. A floodgate release of Your love that saturates to even the deepest wound as they come to know a Jesus who really does redeem, heal, and restore today.

I dont deserve to the spoiled
I dont do anything special to be spoiled.
And there's no logical reasoning why I need to be spoiled.

But He spoils me SO much.
HAHA I think it's so ironic when I'm the one being blessed tremendously
and being deeply impacted
when I wasn't the prime target for the encounter of God. BAHAH oh the character of God
Oh, the creativity of His set-ups.

I'm just, yeah. I try to live a "normal" life, but apparently normal living means to be spoiled by a freakishly loving God. I reaaaallllyyyy dont tryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. I dont runnn after a clause or a crazy goal. I just LIVE. I try to give what I have, I follow the desires that are on my heart, I share what I get, and I try and read His love letters to me that I find throughout my day. That's it. Today I got a FATTY one at a korean chicken restaurant on convoy as I was just living LIFE. Not doing ministry - just LIVING. 

And I'm starting to believe that it should be that simple.
And I'm beginning to believe that God desires to spoil me when I least expect it. I especially didnt expect it today.

I want to make this clear before I proceed on with this entry that I'm actually not that bad at spelling. I actually honestly think I'm quite capable of spelling simple and complex words correctly 99.5% of the time. And even be bold enough to correct people. But apparently tonight (when in a blue moon it actually mattered), my 0.5%, I failed miserably. And no, failing once when it's necessary not to fail doesn't mean I'm called to be Staff (thanks Katie) - even though it's a very popular trait apparently.

So I was giving my cardboard testimony (this is a very powerful clip by the way). On the backside of mine was written: loner, depressed, low self-esteem. I was one of 20+ others who wanted to testify the transformational power of Jesus, but apparently I was nervous enough to spell "permanently" incorrectly twice.

I got up there for our practice run, and phil chen (thanks to sarah) came up to me saying I spelt permanently wrong. Dang, major fail. Shot to the pride. I had 10 mins to fix up my mistake so I found the leftover cardboard and went scavenging for an exacto-knife, duct tape, and magnum black marker.

I got everything cut and taped and totally covered my "permantly" and starting writing again during announcement time. I was running out of space near the end but I thought I was done (because I was done). But what I didn't realize was that I wrote "permanenty". freakin FAIL. Only becca had to witness this hilarious charade. I cut more cardboard as Joe began speaking (sorry Joe!) and covered my second mistake and filled in the last three letters. Permanently. This has forever scarred me.

However, even with a spelling fail massacre, it didn't keep me from staying in tune with what Spirit wanted to do with me. It was really hard to hold back tears as I was standing at the front with my sign and watching the full house having a holy moment with a God that is severely in love with them. And also realizing: "I did come a long way too." Holy moments, holy encounters - how they are worth living for and to momentarily reflect on my own journey. As I was walking back to my seat, Pastor Jamie gave me one of his very very warm and affirming smiles that illustrated that our Jesus is one that heals, redeems, restores, and permanently transforms today. It's always affirming to see your pastor rejoicing in what Heaven does to a person once they encounter it.

Man, I had a great night nevertheless. There were some very honest and powerful cardboard testimonies. Apparently Ian really liked mine. Sarah started crying when one of the girls held hers up. Dang Jesus, the power that You bring as we share with the world a simple statement that He's alive and on the move today. Oh what an amazing God that I live for.

Man, I'm getting so much crap for this already (it's been 10 mins since I posted this). Andy chen - who's in the other room right now - shouted without shame: "Andy! You misspelt permanently?!". The story of my life.